The impossible is beginning to seem routine to you now.

I really liked my horoscope today:

Lindsey,
For the life of you, you just can't seem to figure out where it all went wrong. Speak up before others forget that you have a voice. You must let your opinions be known, or risk being pushed aside. The impossible is beginning to seem routine to you now.

"The impossible is beginning to seem routine to you now." Wow. I don't put much credence in daily horoscopes, but what an idea!

I was wondering about the title of my blog: The Adventures Yet to Come. Recently I've had quite a few adventures, largely with the help of Charlotte. But, despite our crazy antics (and believe me, they are crazy, impulsive, thrill-seeking, and silly), I feel like the real stuff hasn't started. Maybe that's what is motivating my desire to travel the world (besides "finding myself" and whatnot...and Belgian chocolate).

I'm graduating from college. Excepting grad school, this was the last step in the preconceived agenda of my life. Preschool, elementary, high school, college ... life. I feel like so many people just assume the next step is getting a job and settling into life. Not that I have any problem with that course, but I'm fed up with people pushing it on me. For example, my mom: since I can remember she always told me that she knew I was going to do something great with my life (yeah, yeah, she's my mom so she's biased); but now, all she asks is when I'm going to get a job. How am I supposed to do something great if I don't even know what I'm doing, or what I'm supposed to be doing?

Maybe I'm just behind -- everyone knows what they want to do, and what they want to do is within their career aspirations. (What I want to does not fall under the umbrella of a "career"). Maybe running away and running around won't help me figure it out. But I'm feeling extremely claustrophobic -- too claustrophobic for one who is graduating and has her life laid out before her like a delicious buffet of sushi delights.

On that note, I'm going to go get my knee X-rayed.

"Encircle me, I need to be taken down"

I'm in Pittsburgh! It's so great being back here -- in a strange way, it feels homey. Yes, I know, I lived here this summer, so for a few short months it was my home; but it felt good coming back, and that was the strange thing. I really like Pittsburgh. I wouldn't mind living here again in my life.

And of course -- I'm here with Laurel! It worries me that we might see each other even less when we've both graduated. Then again, we might be on different continents for a bit, so that's to be expected. I guess I'll resign myself to just having a kick-ass time while we're together.

This quarter has been one big mess o' crazy. I'm certainly behind in my classes and I've definitely been having a lot of fun (perhaps at the expense of said classes?) It's Spring. It's beautiful. I cannot believe I'm graduating in a matter of weeks. (If I pass Italian 213 .... merda).

I'm in a play this quarter: Proof. It's a fantastic play and I'm overjoyed to be a part of it. I'm not overjoyed that we're off-book next week. I should go work on that....

Exponential Aggravation

(I don't care if my title makes any sense or not)

This is not a particularly insightful, informative, or interesting post. And certainly don't expect me to post this regularly during the quarter. But I need to express. Let me start with this:

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

My family -- love them, really -- are the worst people with whom to watch a movie. It's not that I particularly want to see this movie (I've seen Superman Returns three times already), but I brought it home so they could see it for the first time. So we could watch it together.

And they won't shut up. Every other line of dialog is accompanied by some inane comment by my brother; my mom keeps jumping up to bang around in the kitchen; my sister shushes my brother and she, in turn, is shushed by my dad. I could scream. Why am I putting myself through this? Why do I continue to sit, and shush, and want to scream?

I'm insane. I'm living here this summer. I want move with Laurel to Chicago, or Pittsburgh, or London (want to go to London, Laurel?).

On a side note, I adore Kevin Spacey.

Il Futuro

Near Future: I have to take an upper-level Italian next quarter. Don't get me wrong, I love the Italian language; but I haven't taken Italian in two years. "Il Futuro" is about the extent of language skills. And the Italian word il futuro is about as close as I get to communicating what my future holds.

Future: One more quarter, one more quarter, one more quarter ... and then college is over. 10 weeks -- yikes. Until this Spring Break I was so comfortable with graduation and my post-graduation plans: chill out and make some money, travel around the U.S., the world. But that particular reality-avoiding fantasy didn't stand up to Spring Break. Yes, I still plan on traveling, but I'm going to have to get a job -- a real job. (As my mom says, "someone with a college degree doesn't waitress for a living.")

It's not so bad. What do I want my future to look like? A series of adventures -- a bunch of different jobs (with theater a part of every phase). So, I just need to start the adventures!

Yeah, I'm pretty scared. I don't know if it makes me feel better that the majority of my friends are going through the same thing. Solidarity. We're gonna rock this bitch (if by "bitch," I mean world).

On an different note (Eb?), my poor little sister got a wisdom tooth out, my red-blood cell count was 43 when I went to give blood (yay iron!), my new house is freaking cool, and I'm going to Cleveland this weekend to support my friend and -- I hope -- party.

List of jobs I wouldn't mind having within the next year:

1. Working for a news radio station (Cinci's NPR station isn't hiring right now, grr)
2. Working in Development, Education, PR, or Marketing for a theatre (So far, I don't have enough experience for the theaters around the area. I might be looking at an internship)
3. Editing for a theater magazine (Dramatics is based in Cinci!)
4. Working abroad -- hostel, pub, theater(!), teaching

I need to start talking to people -- the only way to get a job anymore is to know someone who knows someone who is doing something you want to be doing.

Look, Charlotte found a picture of me online!

"Home, where my thoughts escaping"

It's strange being "home." I mean, it's great -- my parents just moved into a new house (said new house being my Aunt/Uncle's old house down the street). It's an awesome house, and the newness -- and bigness -- of it makes just being here an adventure of sorts.

However, I came home to come "home." And, even though this feels comfortable (having been here many, many times)

and all of our stuff is here (hell, I've got my own room!)

it doesn't feel like home. Not yet.

I just want home to wrap me up in a blanket and say "it's all good Lindsey. Yes, things are changing quickly, but some things never change."

What a lie -- everything changes. The trick is, I think, to change just in time with the things you want to stay the same. Then again, maybe I'm rambling out of good-old-fashion-tiredness. My bed -- in my new home -- awaits....

Procrastination Station

It is miserably early in the morning. I shouldn't be tired -- shouldn't feel like my head is a melting ball of rubber dripping down the side of my body -- because I slept all day today. In my bid to become nocturnal, I've stayed awake the last two nights.

I miss the sun.

I can't help but snicker at myself (largely because I've entered the hysterical portion of exhaustion), because I do this to myself every quarter without fail. No matter how on-the-ball I am throughout the quarter, finals week is Procrastination Station.

(Procrastination Station -- What kind of station would that be? All the passengers putting off waiting?)

Inevitably I pull an all-nighter (or two) and end up blogging incoherently because at least when I'm blogging I look like I'm working hard (we must keep up appearances for the other early-morning-library-dwellers).

But I must look on the bright side (caffeine would certainly help in that endeavor): only one more set of finals in my undergraduate career.

...If I make it through this set ....

And now, an image for my amusement:

Self-Indulgent Procrastination ("Indulgent" being the word of the day)

It's a beautiful gray, rainy day -- the kind of day where the sun is right behind the film of clouds, casting raindrops as diamonds as they ping against the window. One of those days that has Lindsey extemporizing about weather.

<-- My view, for your reference.

I had a disturbing dream last night. Disturbing in that "more real than real life" tone that some dreams adopt for the sole purpose of lingering on the inside of my skull. If you will allow a little self-indulgent relating:

I was in Washington, D.C. -- with it's great theater and energy, it's a city I would love to live in one day. I ran into an imaginary person, but it was understood that we had made friends via blogging and I was staying with her for a week. While standing randomly in a dark alley at night, she introduces me to her friend -- an actor that used to attend OU and who, I'm quite sure, represents the entire concept of acting and theater to my simplistic subconscious (he has a history of parading through my dreams). Well, the crux of the dream is that he asks me to stay in Washington, suggesting that I abandon my travel plans for now and immerse myself in the theater world. For some reason, it was a really good opportunity. But -- and here's the disturbing part -- I didn't know what to do. In this dream of mine, I just wanted to stay at home with my family in Cincinnati and stick to my travel plans. And then I was paralyzed with this fear that I was inflexible and missing a good opportunity.

It's not an impressively funky or terrifying dream, but I think it brought real fears to the forefront of my mind. We are all creatures of comfort, but in the dream, it was time for me to make a leap and I was unable to do so. With graduation comes a "brazillion" opportunities and even though exploring this world is indisputably compelling, I think I'm afraid it's motivated from a laziness of sorts. Maybe laziness isn't the correct word -- indulgence, perhaps? Or maybe it really just is graduation-induced fear: the world beyond! The great unknown! The future ... reality ... etc.

Or maybe I'm just conflicted about my decision to move back in with my parents for a bit. I certainly never thought that would happen, but it's the quickest way to raise money for my extravagant plans -- AND they just bought a bigger house. I'm also worried that if I move somewhere awesome (like Cali or Chicago with Laurel), that i'll never raise the money and just get stuck in Grand-Plans-Land.